


Death by Washing Machine

by Gabriel_Sage



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: CPR, Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, Drowning, Gen, Hide and Seek, Matsuda Is An Idiot, Near Death Experiences, One Shot, Songfic, Titanium, Yotsuba Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9398012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabriel_Sage/pseuds/Gabriel_Sage
Summary: Out of all the ways L had imagined dying, this was one way he certainly hadn't imagined…





	

     It had all started innocently enough. Bored by the lack of progress and frustrated at the utter lack of Kira-ness Light was emulating, L had decided to give everyone the rest of the day off. Light had looked rather less than pleased at this revelation, and it soon turned out that he was fully expecting L to just carry on investigating without the rest of the team, which would mean that he would have to as well, and he would not get to have the break along with everyone else. L was quick to snatch that unhappy illusion away.

     "We, Light-kun, are playing hide-and-seek."

     Which was how he'd found himself in this predicament. Light had hidden first, but L had found him in the twelfth-floor storage room. Then it had been his turn to hide. While Light counted to two hundred, L had immediately sprinted down the stairs and through the third-story hall, knowing exactly where he wanted to go. He’d wrenched open the laundry room door, and shut it again as quietly as he could. Then he’d hopped into the washing machine, and shut the hatch behind him. It was slightly uncomfortable, and he almost didn’t fit, but he could manage. Distantly, he heard the muffled sound of the door opening and then shutting rather loudly. Footsteps coming straight towards him. The washing machine opened, but instead of Light’s face appearing, he was suddenly blinded by a mound of smelly clothing, before it shut again.

     "What?" He gasped, shocked, as he heard the muffled sound of singing as the washing machine activated, and two clicks as it locked. L wiggled through the clothes to the front to see what idiot this was. Of course.

     "Matsuda?" The man obviously hadn't noticed him, if the way he leaned against the machine and flicked open a magazine was anything to judge by. "Matsuda!" He shouted, pounding the glass. " _Matsuda!"_

* * *

      Matsuda pulled out one of his choice magazines, flicking it open.

     "You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say. I'm talking loud, not saying much…" He sung, unable to hear anything beyond his headphones.

     " _MATSUDA!"_ L screamed once more as he felt water beginning to rapidly fill the drum, as it began to slowly spin, and he hit the wall with a loud thump. He found himself sideways, his head underwater, and he struggled up through the wet clothing and soapy liquid, trying desperately to suck in another breath of air. There wasn't much left, it was filling up too fast, and he craned his head and took the last shuddering breath he could, before he was completely immersed. _So, this was how he was going to die_ , he realized. He was going to drown in a washing machine, ensnared in Matsuda’s clothing. Matsuda would certainly panic once he realized. With morbid amusement, he considered that he might even be killed by Watari… _Watari!_ L struggled to get one hand to his belt. It was difficult, as he was still being thrown around, and he was completely entangled in Matsuda’s clothes, but he somehow managed. He pushed twice on the belt buckle, and dearly hoped that Watari would realize something was wrong. Thank all the gods that didn’t exist that it was waterproof!

* * *

     In the surveillance room just down the hall, Watari perked up as he heard the emergency tone go off. He checked the ID on the special phone, and his fingers froze. _L!_ Immediately, he traced the coordinates, and found them to be coming from the laundry room. The sound of a washing machine making unusually loud thumps and Matsuda’s horrible singing came through. "Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones, I'm talking loud, not saying much…" Nothing too unusual here. He prepared to close out of the feed, deciding that L had simply forgotten his belt in the wash. Wait…L _always_ wore that belt on the off chance that someone should recognize him and attack him! If the belt was in the washing machine, then… he leapt up, sprinting as fast as a 71 year-old man could towards the washroom.

* * *

     As L’s body was hurled against the steel walls yet again, he knew he was going to black out, and soon. His eyes stung from the detergent, the taste of it and dirty socks was on his tongue, and were to have made it out alive, he would have been bruised for weeks from slamming into the sides. _This wasn’t a very nice way to go,_ he reflected. His vision was starting to blacken out now, and finally he gave up, ceasing his struggle as he felt the darkness swoop down upon him.

* * *

     "-Ricochet, you take your—wha, Watari?" Matsuda gasped as the man flung open the door and full-out sprinted towards him. The old man shoved him to the floor, causing his earbuds to fall out, and wrenched open the machine. He groped around inside, as sudsy water and a few wayward articles of clothing poured out. Finally he seemed to grab what he was looking for, and he pulled out the limp form of L.

     " _Oh my god!"_ Matsuda panicked. "I didn't know he was in there!" Watari put one ear to L’s prone chest.

     "He's not breathing," Watari growled as he began rhythmically pushing hard on L’s sternum. "You'd better be thanking your lucky stars that I know CPR, Matsuda." Watari feared he would have to initiate mouth-to-mouth, but thankfully, L chose that moment to splutter and cough his way back to life, spewing water everywhere.

     "Washing machines…are not the ideal way to go," he wheezed, as the last refrain from Matsuda’s MP3 leaked tinnily out through the headphones.

     "You shoot me down, but I won't fall, I am Titanium!" Light suddenly poked his head around the doorframe, and his eyes widened at the wreckage, his sharp mind immediately putting the pieces together.

     "Matsuda!" He snarled angrily, "Maybe you shouldn't stay here anymore. Between you compromising our headquarters and killing Ryuzaki, I’d prefer the paparazzi and assassins!"


End file.
